7 years ago......

it was around this time that I found out that I was expecting a baby. I was several weeks late and actually had books from the library on perimenopause. It never crossed my mind that I could be pregnant. For 9 years I had dealt with disappointment month after month. I had gone through the stages of grief so many times that I was numb. The one stage I couldn't make it through was acceptance. I couldn't accept that I would never be someone's mother. My husband refused to adopt. We had exhausted our resources with treatments, surgery, etc. I was 35 years old and my time was running out. In the Spring of 2002 I began to pray not for a baby, but peace. And in May I finally made peace with the fact that I had to let go of my dream of parenthood. I thanked God for getting me to that stage. Six weeks later, after a bout with "food poisoning", something made me take a pregnancy test. There were 2 lines. Two lines? What did it mean? For so many years I had only seen 1 line. My husband was sure it was a faulty test. The next morning I had to go work in my classroom. I stopped by Wal-Mart before and bought 2 tests. These had +/-. Digital tests weren't out yet. I went in the restroom in my classroom and almost immediately got a +. I called the doctor's office and asked if they could do a blood test. The doctors were not in that afternoon, but the nurses said to come on in and they would do a test. They did a urine test and it was positive. They refused to do a blood test, even though I was convinced that something besides pregnancy was going on. They were sweet, and kept telling me that I was indeed pregnant! About a week later my doctor did a sonogram and I was able to see my little bean. The day I found out that I was having a child was one of the best days of my life. There are not many surprises in life, but this was definitely a surprise. The outpouring of happiness and love that I experienced as people found out about my pregnancy was truly amazing. The people in my world certainly rejoiced for me. I am so thankful for my little boy. He is truly a gift from God. Getting pregnant again was not difficult at all. Dealing with a terrible loss afterwards was hard. Having my little girl was another miracle, but I will save her story and my angel's story for another day. Hug your children and give thanks to God everyday!